I don't have any fancy Bible verses to put here. Or a whole lot to say.
I am completely burnt out on relationships. I can't seem to meet the right person and... I've just basically come to the conclusion that it's a complete waste of energy. I still have no idea how other people have managed to meet that special someone but I sure can't. I'm just really... done. I don't hold any hope of having something come along and I'm fine with that.
But that is where I'm supposed to be. Maybe I'm not meant to be in one. Not what I would have planned for my life but I don't know what's best in life, God does.
So that's where I am... and it's not a bad spot to be in. :D
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Heaven
***Originally posted on Facebook on July 2nd, 2008***
I can't wait to die. This life is one trial after another. One disappointments begets the next. If we focus on it, it will suck us, drown us, pull us into the mire from which there is no escape. But this short term stay, this "boot camp" life that is merely a brief precursor to the eternal joy we can have is empty and shallow and devoid of anything significant.
Revelation 12:12 "Therefore, rejoice, O heavens! And you who live in the heavens, rejoice! But terror will come on the earth and the sea,for the devil has come down to you in great anger,knowing that he has little time.”
John 12:25 "Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity."
When I look to the future and see that it will not always be like this, present troubles seem to fade in intensity. People will wrong us, gossip will destroy, moth and rust will destroy, the monotony of the 9 to 5 will set in, thieves will break in and steal, life will beat us down. For many, death is merely the doom that binds us all. For those few who are Saved, it is the final victory, the crossing of the finish line to collect our reward for a life lived in pursuit of God and righteousness.
2 Corinthians 5:2 "We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing."
1 Peter 1:4 "...and we have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay."
For me, I can't wait for this to come. We will not be floating around on puffy clouds playing harps. We will be able to experience perfect communion, a perfect relationship, a perfect friendship and fellowship with the God who created us. There are estimated to be 100 billion galaxies in the observable universe. Our galaxy alone as 200 to 400 billion stars. What if you had a chance to explore that for eternity? To float through the gas clouds of Jupiter, stand on the surface of Pluto, view the center of the Sun with your own eyes? We will never be able to comprehend all of the events we will experience in heaven.
Colossians 3:1 "Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand."
2 Corinthians 5:1 "For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands."
This mortal coil is temporary. It's a shell that will fade away as the years pass. It will slowly fail us until one day it will refuse to work. Everything in life will fade with us at the same time. And when we go, we take nothing but our souls with us.
Colossians 3:2 "Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth."
Philippians 3:14 "I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."
There are two places you will go when you die. There is one way. It is the narrow path that few take. The wider paths go along more scenic routes. They attract more followers because they are full of lies. They come to dead ends and most will not realize it until it is too late. I know where I'm going when I die. Do you?
Ephesians 2:6 "For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus."
Romans 5:21 "So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
I can't wait to die. This life is one trial after another. One disappointments begets the next. If we focus on it, it will suck us, drown us, pull us into the mire from which there is no escape. But this short term stay, this "boot camp" life that is merely a brief precursor to the eternal joy we can have is empty and shallow and devoid of anything significant.
Revelation 12:12 "Therefore, rejoice, O heavens! And you who live in the heavens, rejoice! But terror will come on the earth and the sea,for the devil has come down to you in great anger,knowing that he has little time.”
John 12:25 "Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity."
When I look to the future and see that it will not always be like this, present troubles seem to fade in intensity. People will wrong us, gossip will destroy, moth and rust will destroy, the monotony of the 9 to 5 will set in, thieves will break in and steal, life will beat us down. For many, death is merely the doom that binds us all. For those few who are Saved, it is the final victory, the crossing of the finish line to collect our reward for a life lived in pursuit of God and righteousness.
2 Corinthians 5:2 "We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing."
1 Peter 1:4 "...and we have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay."
For me, I can't wait for this to come. We will not be floating around on puffy clouds playing harps. We will be able to experience perfect communion, a perfect relationship, a perfect friendship and fellowship with the God who created us. There are estimated to be 100 billion galaxies in the observable universe. Our galaxy alone as 200 to 400 billion stars. What if you had a chance to explore that for eternity? To float through the gas clouds of Jupiter, stand on the surface of Pluto, view the center of the Sun with your own eyes? We will never be able to comprehend all of the events we will experience in heaven.
Colossians 3:1 "Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand."
2 Corinthians 5:1 "For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands."
This mortal coil is temporary. It's a shell that will fade away as the years pass. It will slowly fail us until one day it will refuse to work. Everything in life will fade with us at the same time. And when we go, we take nothing but our souls with us.
Colossians 3:2 "Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth."
Philippians 3:14 "I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."
There are two places you will go when you die. There is one way. It is the narrow path that few take. The wider paths go along more scenic routes. They attract more followers because they are full of lies. They come to dead ends and most will not realize it until it is too late. I know where I'm going when I die. Do you?
Ephesians 2:6 "For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus."
Romans 5:21 "So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The War Around Us
***Originally posted on June 17th***
Joel 3:11 "Come quickly, all you nations from every side, and assemble there. Bring down your warriors, O LORD!"
Most of us go about our lives working, socializing, making plans, just simply living our lives, unaware of a battle that rages around us every day. There are even those who are aware of it but could care less, burying this knowledge in the back of their minds. Some are aware of it and decide to fight for the wrong side. And lastly, there are the few who decide to pick up their sword and join the outnumbered ranks.
Psalm 18:39 "You armed me with strength for battle; you made my adversaries bow at my feet."
Psalm 144:1 "Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle."
Watch movies like Star Wars or The Matrix, read books like The Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Wheel of Time, and many will see nice, little pieces of fiction. What we fail to realize is how true to life these fictional examples can be. They represent a battle that is happening all around us, unseen but just as real as the air you breath.
Psalm 55:18 "He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me."
Proverbs 21:31 "The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the LORD."
I'm not talking about a physical war and I'm not referring to Iraq, North Korea, Iran, or whatever country is currently experiencing turmoil. I'm talking about the hidden war, the war behind the scenes, the war in the spiritual realm. Whether we believe in God and/or Satan, they both believe in you and they are both fighting for your soul. This is not a war for oil, a war for territory, a war to reclaim freedom, a war to prevent genocide, even a world war. This is a war for the human race.
Revelation 16:14 "They are spirits of demons performing miraculous signs, and they go out to the kings of the whole world, to gather them for the battle on the great day of God Almighty."
Judges 6:12 "When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, 'The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.'"
Whether you want to be or not, you are involved in this war. Unfortunately, we are all born to one side. From that day forward, you were engaged in battle. We must be won over and then daily choose to fight. To do nothing is to fight for the side of evil. In this day and age, one might look around, noticing which side has the advantage, controls the most territory, appears the best armed. But the outcome of the battle is already decided.
Revelation 20:7-10 "When the thousand years are over, Satan will be released from his prison and will go out to deceive the nations in the four corners of the earth—Gog and Magog—to gather them for battle. In number they are like the sand on the seashore. They marched across the breadth of the earth and surrounded the camp of God's people, the city he loves. But fire came down from heaven and devoured them. And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever."
I am a Benedict Arnold no longer. I don't win every battle but I have decided which side of the war I'm on. And as my armor grows stronger, as my shield becomes battered, as I train to use my sword, I will win more and more battles until one day I am victorious. I know which side I have choosen. If you fight for the enemy, you have already lost.
Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Joel 3:11 "Come quickly, all you nations from every side, and assemble there. Bring down your warriors, O LORD!"
Most of us go about our lives working, socializing, making plans, just simply living our lives, unaware of a battle that rages around us every day. There are even those who are aware of it but could care less, burying this knowledge in the back of their minds. Some are aware of it and decide to fight for the wrong side. And lastly, there are the few who decide to pick up their sword and join the outnumbered ranks.
Psalm 18:39 "You armed me with strength for battle; you made my adversaries bow at my feet."
Psalm 144:1 "Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle."
Watch movies like Star Wars or The Matrix, read books like The Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Wheel of Time, and many will see nice, little pieces of fiction. What we fail to realize is how true to life these fictional examples can be. They represent a battle that is happening all around us, unseen but just as real as the air you breath.
Psalm 55:18 "He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me."
Proverbs 21:31 "The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the LORD."
I'm not talking about a physical war and I'm not referring to Iraq, North Korea, Iran, or whatever country is currently experiencing turmoil. I'm talking about the hidden war, the war behind the scenes, the war in the spiritual realm. Whether we believe in God and/or Satan, they both believe in you and they are both fighting for your soul. This is not a war for oil, a war for territory, a war to reclaim freedom, a war to prevent genocide, even a world war. This is a war for the human race.
Revelation 16:14 "They are spirits of demons performing miraculous signs, and they go out to the kings of the whole world, to gather them for the battle on the great day of God Almighty."
Judges 6:12 "When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, 'The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.'"
Whether you want to be or not, you are involved in this war. Unfortunately, we are all born to one side. From that day forward, you were engaged in battle. We must be won over and then daily choose to fight. To do nothing is to fight for the side of evil. In this day and age, one might look around, noticing which side has the advantage, controls the most territory, appears the best armed. But the outcome of the battle is already decided.
Revelation 20:7-10 "When the thousand years are over, Satan will be released from his prison and will go out to deceive the nations in the four corners of the earth—Gog and Magog—to gather them for battle. In number they are like the sand on the seashore. They marched across the breadth of the earth and surrounded the camp of God's people, the city he loves. But fire came down from heaven and devoured them. And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever."
I am a Benedict Arnold no longer. I don't win every battle but I have decided which side of the war I'm on. And as my armor grows stronger, as my shield becomes battered, as I train to use my sword, I will win more and more battles until one day I am victorious. I know which side I have choosen. If you fight for the enemy, you have already lost.
Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Waiting
***Originally posted on June 5th888
Since I have a heavy streak of impatience flowing through my veins, waiting is something I do not like to do. Even with small things. Buy a DVD now for $20 instead of waiting a couple months for it to drop to $13, or even $7.50 (gotta love that awesome rack at Wal-mart). Sitting in a parking lot for 15 minutes waiting for friends to show up, etc. Ok, I'm probably exaggerating a little bit but waiting is tough. Waiting for anything.
Psalm 5:3 "In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."
Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."
Fortunately, God does not share our time constraints. If you think about it, time (just like space and physical matter) is just another creation of God. Before Genesis, I believe time did not exist. God is not bound by time. He doesn't answer to it, he does not follow it, and in reality, God exists outside of time.
2 Peter 3:8 "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day."
Psalm 38:15 "I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God."
I can't even begin to list the things we wait for. Getting done with school, buying a car, selling a car, buying a house, selling a house, getting married, having children, finding a new job, getting a raise, etc. So many times we ask God why things aren't happening! We demand an answer from God.
Psalm 119:84 "How long must your servant wait? When will you punish my persecutors?"
Psalm 130:5 "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."
As I look around at this generation, the people of the here and now, where we can get instant food, instant "love", instant gratification of any kind, nobody knows how to wait anymore. And this goes for Christians too! I'm a perfect example of this. But what happens when we don't wait is that we make our plans, we make our own lives, when we should be waiting on God's plan for our lives. He has one! All that it requires is a little faith and patience. Well, maybe from our vantage point it doesn't seem like very little but to God it is.
Psalm 130:6 "My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning."
Proverbs 20:22 "Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you."
Waiting is extremely hard. When we are "blind" and can't see the future, it's hard to jump at the bit and take off on our own course. To make the quick , and many times wrong, decisions, to navigate our own course, to forge ahead. Now, I'm not encouraging someone to just sit around and pray for everything to fall into their lap. Life doesn't normally work that way. If you want a job, send your resume in. We can try but if God doesn't want you to have a new job, it won't happen. I can't even begin to count the times God answered me with a door slamming in my face in this regard.
Isaiah 26:8 "Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts."
Lamentations 3:24 "I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
But I'm getting sidetracked a little. The point being is that God knows exactly what is best for us. Sometimes it's nothing more than a test. I remember my parents building their house in Washington Township and trying to sell their old house in Chesterton. They had something like 30 or more showings of that house. And it just would not sell. Finally, at the very last minute, someone made an offer and bought it, right before they were scheduled to move into the new house.
Micah 7:7 "But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me."
Romans 8:23 "Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies."
Do we wait on earthly things? People to send an apology, a house to sell, a career change, perhaps a doctor's report regarding a test. Or do we wait on the Lord? His answers are perfect, exactly what we need, at come at just the right time.
Romans 8:25 "But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
Hebrews 6:15 "And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised."
Or maybe it isn't us waiting on God but God waiting on us.
Jude 1:21 "Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life."
Since I have a heavy streak of impatience flowing through my veins, waiting is something I do not like to do. Even with small things. Buy a DVD now for $20 instead of waiting a couple months for it to drop to $13, or even $7.50 (gotta love that awesome rack at Wal-mart). Sitting in a parking lot for 15 minutes waiting for friends to show up, etc. Ok, I'm probably exaggerating a little bit but waiting is tough. Waiting for anything.
Psalm 5:3 "In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."
Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."
Fortunately, God does not share our time constraints. If you think about it, time (just like space and physical matter) is just another creation of God. Before Genesis, I believe time did not exist. God is not bound by time. He doesn't answer to it, he does not follow it, and in reality, God exists outside of time.
2 Peter 3:8 "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day."
Psalm 38:15 "I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God."
I can't even begin to list the things we wait for. Getting done with school, buying a car, selling a car, buying a house, selling a house, getting married, having children, finding a new job, getting a raise, etc. So many times we ask God why things aren't happening! We demand an answer from God.
Psalm 119:84 "How long must your servant wait? When will you punish my persecutors?"
Psalm 130:5 "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."
As I look around at this generation, the people of the here and now, where we can get instant food, instant "love", instant gratification of any kind, nobody knows how to wait anymore. And this goes for Christians too! I'm a perfect example of this. But what happens when we don't wait is that we make our plans, we make our own lives, when we should be waiting on God's plan for our lives. He has one! All that it requires is a little faith and patience. Well, maybe from our vantage point it doesn't seem like very little but to God it is.
Psalm 130:6 "My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning."
Proverbs 20:22 "Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you."
Waiting is extremely hard. When we are "blind" and can't see the future, it's hard to jump at the bit and take off on our own course. To make the quick , and many times wrong, decisions, to navigate our own course, to forge ahead. Now, I'm not encouraging someone to just sit around and pray for everything to fall into their lap. Life doesn't normally work that way. If you want a job, send your resume in. We can try but if God doesn't want you to have a new job, it won't happen. I can't even begin to count the times God answered me with a door slamming in my face in this regard.
Isaiah 26:8 "Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts."
Lamentations 3:24 "I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
But I'm getting sidetracked a little. The point being is that God knows exactly what is best for us. Sometimes it's nothing more than a test. I remember my parents building their house in Washington Township and trying to sell their old house in Chesterton. They had something like 30 or more showings of that house. And it just would not sell. Finally, at the very last minute, someone made an offer and bought it, right before they were scheduled to move into the new house.
Micah 7:7 "But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me."
Romans 8:23 "Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies."
Do we wait on earthly things? People to send an apology, a house to sell, a career change, perhaps a doctor's report regarding a test. Or do we wait on the Lord? His answers are perfect, exactly what we need, at come at just the right time.
Romans 8:25 "But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
Hebrews 6:15 "And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised."
Or maybe it isn't us waiting on God but God waiting on us.
Jude 1:21 "Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life."
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Trials and Suffering
***Originally posted May 30th***
I don't know if you've noticed but in my life, it has not been all fun and games. For many years, I turned away from God, blaming him for my own faults, cursing him for the direction life had taken me, and just being angry in general. We can ask why over and over again and never get an answer.
Job 30:16 "And now my life ebbs away; days of suffering grip me."
Job 30:27 "The churning inside me never stops; days of suffering confront me."
Now, I got saved at 3 1/2. I remember sitting on my parent's love seat, staring out of their great, huge window (which I broke once playing behind the couch, haha) and my mom praying with me. As a child, I had this blind faith in God. My parents had a neighbor who refused to talk to them but I would march right up to the chain link fence and flat out ask him if he knew Jesus. I would declare that I loved Jesus and would sing songs really loud throughout the back yard. Somewhere along the road, my stubborn and rebellious nature took over and I walked away. I would try to seek God but would give up quickly when trials occured or I screwed up and sinned.
Isaiah 48:10 "See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction."
Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
Last August, I got really drunk one night, passed out, woke up the next day with a huge hangover and went to work my phone job. That day I gave up. I was done wrestling with God. He had won and I couldn't do it anymore. It turns out that God has far more physical, emotional, and mental stamina than I do. Go figure. By the beginning of September, I had a good job making almost twice as much as my phone job. By November, I had a new car in great shape and by December, I had gotten out of credit card debt. God seriously showered me with blessings within weeks of me offering up my will to him.
Psalm 107:17 "Some became fools through their rebellious ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities."
Psalm 31:7 "I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul."
So now here I am, getting over another trial. I would say the biggest one I've gone through. But it's also been the best time. I took a few steps down the old road I had traveled for so many years, the road of blaming and anger, but I couldn't go back. I know the only way to handle these situations is to lean on him, trust him, let him wrap his arms around me and hold the only way a Father with perfect, unending love can do. And to look over this time and see all that he has done for me is just incredible.
Psalm 22:24 "For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help."
Romans 8:18 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."
Sometimes, at the beginning of the dark tunnel, we can't see the light coming from the other side. We take blind steps forward, stumbling through the darkness. There is no hope. There is no end. We feel like we are choking, gasping for air in a vacuum, suffocating, groaning in pain and misery. Let me just say I love the Psalms. They challenge God, asking him why yet still offering up the respect he deserves. And they also offer hope! Some time passes and you can see the darkness recede, the light from the tunnel up ahead showing you there is a way out. You leave the tunnel and find a clear sky with the sun shining down. God knows how we feel. He cries with us, he shares our pain, he completely understands better than anybody else here on Earth.
Psalm 119:117 "Uphold me, and I will be delivered; I will always have regard for your decrees."
James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,"
Sometimes we won't know the reasons why these trials happen. Perhaps it is a consequence, perhaps a test, or maybe it's to get our attention. Sometimes God does need to smack us upside the head and say "I'm up here. Focus on me."
Romasn 5:3 "Not only so, but we [ Or let us] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;"
Philippians 3:10 "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,"
Our reaction to these trials is what matters. Do we fight and wrestle with God like Jacob (and I) did? Do we walk away and turn our back on him, cursing him for how aweful life can be? Or do we surrender and thank him for the bad times? Trials are going to happen no matter what you do. You might be financially stable and find that you have cancer. You may be very healthy but find that you are tight on cash. Someone might die, you might be betrayed, friendships and relationships fade away, thieves break in and steal and moths and rust destroy. We can decide to face these trials alone or with God by our side.
Psalm 119:71 "It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees."
James 1:12 "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
I've done both. It is so much easier surrendering.
I don't know if you've noticed but in my life, it has not been all fun and games. For many years, I turned away from God, blaming him for my own faults, cursing him for the direction life had taken me, and just being angry in general. We can ask why over and over again and never get an answer.
Job 30:16 "And now my life ebbs away; days of suffering grip me."
Job 30:27 "The churning inside me never stops; days of suffering confront me."
Now, I got saved at 3 1/2. I remember sitting on my parent's love seat, staring out of their great, huge window (which I broke once playing behind the couch, haha) and my mom praying with me. As a child, I had this blind faith in God. My parents had a neighbor who refused to talk to them but I would march right up to the chain link fence and flat out ask him if he knew Jesus. I would declare that I loved Jesus and would sing songs really loud throughout the back yard. Somewhere along the road, my stubborn and rebellious nature took over and I walked away. I would try to seek God but would give up quickly when trials occured or I screwed up and sinned.
Isaiah 48:10 "See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction."
Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
Last August, I got really drunk one night, passed out, woke up the next day with a huge hangover and went to work my phone job. That day I gave up. I was done wrestling with God. He had won and I couldn't do it anymore. It turns out that God has far more physical, emotional, and mental stamina than I do. Go figure. By the beginning of September, I had a good job making almost twice as much as my phone job. By November, I had a new car in great shape and by December, I had gotten out of credit card debt. God seriously showered me with blessings within weeks of me offering up my will to him.
Psalm 107:17 "Some became fools through their rebellious ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities."
Psalm 31:7 "I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul."
So now here I am, getting over another trial. I would say the biggest one I've gone through. But it's also been the best time. I took a few steps down the old road I had traveled for so many years, the road of blaming and anger, but I couldn't go back. I know the only way to handle these situations is to lean on him, trust him, let him wrap his arms around me and hold the only way a Father with perfect, unending love can do. And to look over this time and see all that he has done for me is just incredible.
Psalm 22:24 "For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help."
Romans 8:18 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."
Sometimes, at the beginning of the dark tunnel, we can't see the light coming from the other side. We take blind steps forward, stumbling through the darkness. There is no hope. There is no end. We feel like we are choking, gasping for air in a vacuum, suffocating, groaning in pain and misery. Let me just say I love the Psalms. They challenge God, asking him why yet still offering up the respect he deserves. And they also offer hope! Some time passes and you can see the darkness recede, the light from the tunnel up ahead showing you there is a way out. You leave the tunnel and find a clear sky with the sun shining down. God knows how we feel. He cries with us, he shares our pain, he completely understands better than anybody else here on Earth.
Psalm 119:117 "Uphold me, and I will be delivered; I will always have regard for your decrees."
James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,"
Sometimes we won't know the reasons why these trials happen. Perhaps it is a consequence, perhaps a test, or maybe it's to get our attention. Sometimes God does need to smack us upside the head and say "I'm up here. Focus on me."
Romasn 5:3 "Not only so, but we [ Or let us] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;"
Philippians 3:10 "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,"
Our reaction to these trials is what matters. Do we fight and wrestle with God like Jacob (and I) did? Do we walk away and turn our back on him, cursing him for how aweful life can be? Or do we surrender and thank him for the bad times? Trials are going to happen no matter what you do. You might be financially stable and find that you have cancer. You may be very healthy but find that you are tight on cash. Someone might die, you might be betrayed, friendships and relationships fade away, thieves break in and steal and moths and rust destroy. We can decide to face these trials alone or with God by our side.
Psalm 119:71 "It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees."
James 1:12 "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
I've done both. It is so much easier surrendering.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
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